


a blink away

by peachsneakers



Series: preservation of the self [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Rejection, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 13:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Sometimes Thomas needs to hear lies more than he needs the truth.





	a blink away

Thomas slumps on his bed. He can't focus, not anymore. It's so _stupid_. He should have known better. He's not great at flirting in the first place, and how was he supposed to know the guy at the party already had a boyfriend? He scowls down at the bottle in his lap. Another poor decision. He's not adding much to his family friendly image now, is he. He lifts the vodka bottle and takes a swig, grimacing at the burn as it slides down his throat.

He didn't sleep well after the party. Maybe that's why he's sat here at four in the morning with a bottle of vodka, holding it like it's his new best friend. He knows that he should call someone. Joan or Talyn or- 

One of his sides. But they must be sleeping at this hour. He doesn't want to be a nuisance. His eyes burn as he presses his eyelids tightly together, as if by doing so, he can shut away everything bad.

He can't even blame it on Remus this time. He's been able to deal with Roman's twin a lot easier after the intrusive thoughts video. Logan may have told him that he couldn't logic his way out of intrusive thoughts, but Thomas still felt like in a way, he had. He'd at least logic'ed a way of _handling_ them and that was infinitely more than he'd previously had.

No, it's not Remus. It's not Deceit or Virgil or Patton or anyone else. It's all Thomas and maybe that's what makes him feel so shit about it all. He raises the bottle to take another gulp and stiffens when a yellow gloved hand plucks the bottle free.

"I think you haven't had nearly enough," Deceit states coolly, setting the bottle on Thomas's dresser.

"What- what are you doing here?" Thomas stammers. "I didn't summon you-"

"Oh yes, I absolutely have to be summoned first," Deceit smirks. "Now, don't be a doll and definitely don't tell me why you're drowning your sorrows in cheap booze."

"Hey, that wasn't cheap," Thomas tries to protest. Deceit raises one eyebrow.

"You forget, I can see your receipts," Deceit points out. "By the standards of any alcohol connoisseur, you might as well be drinking the _finest_ of liquid gold."

"All right, all right," Thomas scowls. "You should know why I am then, if you're so clever."

"Perhaps I don't want to hear it from the horse's mouth," Deceit murmurs. Thomas sighs.

"The boy at the party," he admits in a reluctant mumble. "He already had a boyfriend, and I just- I knew it, I'm so _useless_..." Caught up in his own negative spiral, Thomas doesn't even notice his fist crashing down into his thigh until Deceit's seized it in a vise-like grip.

"That's worse," Deceit says brightly. "So why precisely does _one_ boy in the whole wide universe mean _anything_ to you whatsoever? Not to mention enough to see you wallow in alcoholism?"

"Deceit, I bought one bottle," Thomas points out, his voice sharp. Deceit shrugs, his cape swirling behind him.

"Same difference," he dismisses. "I shouldn't even be here, you know. You should be with the others. Patton, Roman, Logan, Virgil... Do you think they don't wish to comfort you, no matter the time of day?"

"Well, yeah," Thomas says, eyes wide. "I mean- I don't want to wake anyone up. I can handle it myself."

"You are totally not a liar," Deceit whispers. Thomas has to strain his ears to hear it properly. A flush floods his face as soon as he does.

"Fine," Thomas says, heaving a breath. "So I do want to wake them up. But that doesn't mean I will. They need their rest." He looks pointedly at Deceit. "Don't you?"

"I don't sleep," Deceit says, waving a hand at him.

"I just..." Thomas sighs. "Sometimes it feels like the world is... I don't know. It's dumb to feel this way, just because I got rejected at a party, but that isn't it, not really, it's just the uh-" He pauses, squinting at Deceit. "What's the word..."

"Catalyst?" Deceit suggests. Thomas nods.

"That," he says. "For everything. For the world not being okay. For _me_ not being okay. Maybe. I don't know."

"You know how I can speak the truth, Thomas?" Deceit asks. "Believe this, then. You _will_ be okay. You _will_ move on. The others _will_ want to help you now, regardless of how asleep they are, and you _should_ let them. It is easier to share your pain, and even more so when it is _you_."

"Huh," Thomas sits there, digesting the information. "Maybe I- maybe I will wake them up. If you think- if you think that's all right."

"It is," Deceit assures him.

He bows out before Thomas can thank him, wondering if Thomas caught on that Deceit never actually said he _would_ speak the truth.

...Although he knows the other four would want to help, anyway.


End file.
